I have a prior post on this Blog deconstructing the notion that the various Greek words for Love are mutually exclusive types of Love, and I've touched on the subject in some others. I stand by essentially everything I said there but I've also refined my understanding a bit.
Eros is absent from The New Testament, that fact is the main cause of this commotion, the idea that Eros is the only Greek word for Love that is inherently Sexual is the invention of Augustinian Puritanical Christians who want to separate Sex form all the positive Love talk in The New Testament, especially when it says God IS Love and that Jesus commanded us to Love one another or when it mentions Love Feasts as a Sacrament. Because if they did they might have to accept that The Church was meant to be a giant Polycule.
Problem is the Septuagint Greek Translation of The Song of Songs aka The Song of Solomon also only uses Agape and never Eros, the most obviously "Erotic" book uses Agape not Eros. Elsewhere the Septuagint uses Agape and Eros interchangeably to translate the Hebrew Ahav. You also can't define Agape as the pure kind of Love that can't be corrupted by Sin when the Septuagint also uses a form of Agape when it says Amnon "loved" Tamar when he raped her in 2 Samuel 13:1.
People who have bought into this concept can't even agree on how to define Agape, in ContraPoints' new excellent video on Twilight (which I'll mention again later) Agape is defined as "Spiritual Love", the King James Bible in many passages translates it as "Charity". Now the concept of Charity is very Biblical but every appearance of that word in the KJV is a mistranslation of Agape.
The issue with Agape is the overwhelming vast majority of Ancient usage of the word is by Christians and Greek Speaking Jews. It does exist in Greek independent of that influence, a form of it does appear in Homer. But using it as a standard part of every day vocabulary as much or more then Philia and Eros seems to have been the exclusive practice of Abrahamic Monotheists.
There is usually said to be Five Greek words for Love, but only three concern me here. Eros, Philia and Agape. There are distinctions between them that would cause a careful writer to prefer one over the other in a given context, but those differences are more connotative then definitional.
Because I'm a Weeb I'm once again going to use some Japanese words to help clarify how I feel these three Greek words should be thought of.
Agape = Ai
Eros = Koi
Philia = Suki
In the 24th episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion the character Kowaru uses the word Suki to describe how he feels about Shinji. In the first ever officially licensed English Localization of NGE which was the ADV Films VHS Subtitled release Suki was translated as Like "I like you". Later ADV releases however would upgrade this to "I love you". And so when the Netflix versions of Eva went up a few years ago... well a lot of things were disliked for good reasons but the most intense discourse was about it translating Suki as Like, with most not even knowing that was what ADV did the first time. The idea that this decision inherently straight washed the scene is silly because what makes Kowaru and Shinji's relationship very obviously Gay are the Vibes not any of the specific words they use. The English word Love is not always Romantic/Sexual and English usage of Like very much can be, I know this because I'm an older Millennial with a lot of childhood memories of watching The Wonder Years.
All that context is why I identify Philia with Suki, even Philia is not inherently asexual as shown by there being a sexual goddess named Philotes, in fact it survived in how many modern clinical/psychological terms use Philia to describe a Sexual attraction. However it is the only of the three that can be used with a complete absence of Passion. In John 11 Philia is used twice when it is only Jesus feelings for Lazarus being described while Agape is used of Lazarus and his Sisters. That's why when it comes to the "Beloved Disciple" verses in later chapters I view it as Mary (Magdalene and "Of Bethany" are the same Mary in my view) when Agape is used but Lazarus the one time Philia is used.
Ai is a word for Love that is clearly associated with Romantic Love and Sexual Love and Love that is neither of those. Koi however is the most connotatively sexual of the Japanese words for Love in a way that makes it more likely to be used in the title of a Hentai.
Eros isn't absent from the New Testament because what it does refer to is inherently sinful, it's just not the best word for what these authors are focusing on. It has to do with the association of Eros with not just Passion but intense uncontrollable Passion. Agape absolutely does include what a modern English Speaker usually means by Romantic or Erotic Love.
In ContraPoints's Twilight video she introduces the discussion of Eros by repeating the common error that the Greek words for Love refer to different things. However her elaboration on Eros shows that she understands it connotatively to be even more specific then just Romantic/Sexual, it's about Passion, Desire, Longing, Craving, a bunch of obscure words I've already forgotten. The problem is when you equate that proper understanding of Eros with the notion that the other Greek Words for Love have nothing to do with Sex or Romance it causes one to have a very demeaning view of Romantic relationships that lack this unbridled Passion and thus her characterizing most Committed Long Term Relationships where the Passion has died out as not even truly being Romantic anymore. I think it cam be very Romantic to just wholesomely enjoy another person's company.
And that's my only criticism of the video, overall it's fantastic.
Well I'm also annoyed by her reference to Stoicism, once again the average YouTube Philosopher's understanding of Stoicism is entirely filtered through Late or Roman Stoicism which had incorporated aspects of Pythagorean Sexual morality. Zeno Stoics were the Communist Free Love Hippies of the Hellenistic World. Zeno tried to redefine Eros in a way that made it no longer about uncontrollable Passion but still absolutely Sexual. It is still my hypothesis that there is a connection between Zeno's Eros and New Testament Agape.
Update April 29th: I re-found this thing I read once that helped explain my interpretation of Koi and Agape.
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